james_p_davis (james_p_davis) wrote,

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On the Subject of: Zombies

Zombies, cute, cuddly pet of the decade or dead, flesh-eating cannibal?

I say, why can't they be both?

Over at Wizards of the Coast Community (courtesy of the curious questioneer Susan Morris) Forgotten Realm authors, including myself, are put to the test and asked what their plans are for the coming zombie apocalypse. (and more questions and answers to come, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!).

Check out our answers here

To expand a bit on my answer, here are a few things you can learn from the movies...on what not to do...all of course in my humble opinion...

1--Guns Are Bad!

I know, I know, not a popular answer. And with all due respect to those who wield them in glorious battle against the advancing hordes of undead, I say keep up the fireworks for as long as you can...I'll be stealthily heading in the opposite direction. Why guns bad? Well, noise for one. Zombies seem to have two hunting senses, sight and hearing, try not to engage either. Another reason, despite drawing every zed within earshot to your location, would be infection. Splatter to be exact. Infected blood in your eye, your mouth, a cut on your hand, your lunch, or your water. Close shots reduce the chance of a wasted bullet and up the chances of infection. A long shot, unless you're with the zombie eliminating army, just draws attention.

I know, guns are cool and intimidating in the zombie genre. They have good PR. But survival would likely mean killing as few zombies as possible and avoiding them at all costs.


Let's say you're trapped in a mall and you feel the need to make a break for the great wide open. It's quite possible there are many viable weapons and equipment in the mall...and more than likely, there's a leather store. Use it. Leather hard to bite through, 'nuff said.

3--Zombie Brains

They don't have much going on upstairs, so use that as well. Ever see a zombie climb a ladder? Not much coordination there either. One zombie isn't too big of a problem, but a thousand can be worrisome. One mistake in many monster movies involves the heroes trying to kill the unkillable. Chainsaw through Michael Myers not working? Why not cut off a leg? Or an arm? Can't walk, can't catch you. Can't stab, can't kill you.

So, can't kill it? Figure out a way to stop it, either by terrain or some clever dismemberment.

Just some helpful things I've noticed...or rather things I've yelled at certain movies while simultaneously rooting for the zombie/monster/creature that obviously represents the characters' destined fate, heh! Be prepared, the zombies are coming...and try not to appear excited ;)


P.S.--For those curious, links to my various social-networking presences. Friend me, follow me, stop by and say hello! Choose your favorite flavor:

Wizards Community

Tags: authors, forgotten realms, zombies
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